Two months ago, in Part I of this blogpost, I spoke about the spectrum of pickiness most people fall within---unreasonable, acceptably discerning, and openly informed. The more open someone is, the more light they let in. This has a direct consequence on the mercy quotient.
What is that you may I ask? What I call the mercy quotient is a metric to understand the world through the eyes of compassion. When you increase your own mercy, you start experiencing, seeing, and feeling more mercy entering your life. That's the mercy quotient at play. It's most definitely associated with the idea of karma or the law of attraction. Essentially, the energy you put out is the energy you receive. But there's a twist.
The twist is that you actually don't have to do very much or look very far to see yourself as a recipient of boundless mercy. You just need to open your eyes. The word "mercy" for us may conjure up images of the beautiful Mother Theresa or Gandhi or someone like Nelson Mandela forgiving his South African oppressors. The truth is, mercy is all around us if we let ourselves recognize it--that's the openness I'm really talking about. The fact that even with the ravages of climate change, the earth will bear fruit if we nurture it, or that even with orphan crises from conflict, there are parents ready and willing to adopt, or that notwithstanding great disparities, the delivery of healthcare and clean water has extended to millions of people in the past decade.
I'm not telling you to shut your eyes to the awful things happening. I'm asking you to open your eyes to the good things that are going on. Try to spotlight the mercy that still remains in this world. If you can do this, then you will stop judging people so intensely. You will start really seeing the people in your life who are trying the best they can and you too will try your best. In turn, you can grant your own self some mercy! Here's a practical tip: think of what's going right in your life today, right now--write it down and write down why it's going right; one thing, every day, in a gratitude journal. This increases your mercy quotient and helps you become open to things you may have harshly rejected before. It helps you also become comfortable in your own skin.
Then the light can come in. You can start better understanding why certain individuals act the way they do and start forgiving perceived faults. You will start seeing your own faults and forgiving yourself. There's a cascade of goodness that comes from this--things that were once BIG deals, you can let go and things you used to just ignore, you will learn to have gratitude for.
Sometimes it takes a real tragedy to make us more merciful--a piercing wake up call. I don't want that for any of you! I want you to try to increase your mercy quotient and let more light in on your own terms; because you desperately need a change. You will ease the burden on yourself in finding love, and maybe then you can more fully accept yourself and others.
I hope you let the light in.
Author - Yasmin Elhady Nassiry
Learning about love everyday. Grateful for what I have. I'm a relationship consultant who plays a lawyer and public policy specialist on TV.